Quotes from Private Eye

I couldn't help quoting funny mocking stories from Private Eye:

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ONLY IN THE EYE

'Latin For Beginners'
by Harry Mountainofcash

Chapter 1: Conjugating Verbs (present tense)

Tesco = I build a superstore
Tescas = You go shopping there
Tescat = He closes down his local shop
Tescamus = We make even more money
Tescatis = You feel guilty about it
Tescant = They can't stop us

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Hahahaha!