History of the Peloponnesian War

Thucydides' History of the Peloponnesian War is one of the Great Books recommended by M. Adler. For centuries, it has received very high acclaim in the Western world of classics; however, its influence on the minds of Asian readers does not seem to match that on the Europeans.

I read the Penguin classics edition which is translated by Rex Warner (1954) with an Introduction and Appendix by M. I. Finley (1972). All in all, this edition is a very good translation -- its English is very lucid, simple, and sufficiently clear. One doesn't need to consult too frequently a dictionary to find out the words Warner used in order to understand what originally Thucydides was trying to portray about the causes and consequences of the war. Yet, when I came across the speeches and the debates (e.g. Pericles' famous Funeral Oration), I found it hard to share emotional effects intended by such great orator.

Luckily, I had an opportunity to find out that there are at least 4 English translation versions:
1. Thomas Hobbes (1628)
2. Richard Crawley (1876, 1910)
3. Benjamin Jowett (1881, 1900)
4. Rex Warner (1954)

In the complete set of Adler's The Great Books, the one translated by Richard Crawley was adopted. I don't know whether his choice was purely out of convenience, or after much deliberation. So I decided to compare Crawley's version and Warner's version, using Pericles' Funeral Oration as a sampler. Here's what I've found:

1)
Warner's version:
"Let me say that our system of government does not copy the institutions of our neighbours. It is more the case of our being a model to others, than of our imitating anyone else. Our constitution is called a democracy because power is in the hands not of a minority but of the whole people. When it is a question of settling private disputes, everyone is equal before the law; when it is a public responsibility, what counts is not membership of a particular class, but the actual ability which the man possesses. No one, so long as he has it in him to be of service to the state, is kept in political obscurity because of povery. " (Book II, 37)

Crawley's version:
"Our constitution does not copy the laws of neighbouring states; we are rather a pattern to others than imitators ourselves. Its administration favours the many instead of the few; this is why it is called a democracy. If we look to the laws, they afford equal justice to all in their private differences; if no social standing, advancement in public life falls to reputation for capacity, class considerations not being allowed to interfere with merit; not again does poverty bar the way, if a man is able to serve the state, he is not hindered by the obscurity of his condition."

On this part I think both of them are equally good.

But let me show another part, arguably the most famous sentence in Thucydides, to compare the two translators:


2)
Warner's version:
"Our love of what is beautiful does not lead to extravagance; our love of the things of the mind does not make us soft. We regard wealth as something to be properly used, rather than as something to boast about. As for poverty, no one need be ashamed to admit it: the real shame is in not taking practical measures to escape from it." (Book II, 40)

Crawley's version:
"We cultivate refinement without extravagance and knowledge without effeminacy; wealth we employ more for use than for show, and place the real disgrace of poverty not in owning to the fact but in declining the struggle against it. "

Jowett's version:
"For we are lovers of the beautiful, yet simple in our tastes; and we cultivate the mind without loss of manliness. Wealth we employ, not for talk and ostentation, but when there is a real use for it. To avow poverty with us is no disgrace; the true discgrace is in doing nothing to avoid it."

How concise and sharp Crawley is! On this count, I would have to vote for Crawley. But Jowett's versionn is equally succinct.

Here I quote another paragraph to illustrate which translator's work is better:

3)
Warner's version:
"When you see other people happy you will often be reminded of what used to make you happy too. One does not feel sad at not having some good thing which is outside one's experience: real grief is felt at the loss of something which one is used to." (Book II, 44)

Crawley's version:
"You will constantly be reminded by seeing in the homes of others blessings of which once you also boasted: for grief is felt not so much for the want of what we have never known, as for the loss of that to which we have been long accustomed."

And how about Paul Woodruff's version:
"You will often be reminded by the good fortune of others of the joy you once had; for sorrow is not for the want of a good never tasted, but for the loss of a good we have been used to having."

Which one is better? Well, honestly I really can't tell now...

Lastly, let me quote the sentences concerning the Greek's expectations about woman:

4)
Warner's version:
"Perhaps I should say a word or two on the duties of women to those among you who are now widowed. I can say all I have to say in a short word of advice. Your great glory is not to be inferior to what God has made you, and the greatest glory of a woman is to be least talked about by men, whether they are praising you or criticizing you."(Book II, 45)

Crawley's version:
"On the other hand, if I must say anything on the subject of female excellence to those of you who will now be in widowhood, it will be all comprised in this brief exhortation. Great will be your glory in not falling short of your natural character; and greatest will be hers who is least talked of among the men, whether for good or for bad."

Paul Woodruff's version:
"And now, since I must say something about feminine virture, I shall express it in this brief admonition to you who are now widows: your glory is great if you do not fall beneath the natural condition of your sex, and if you have as little fame among men as is possibloe, whether for virture or by way of reproach."

Here's yet another, a 4th, version:
"To a woman not to show more weakness than is natural to her sex is a great glory, and not to be talked about for good or for evil among men."

See? Different versions of translation of the identical sentences can and do project different moods and even slightly different meanings.

Therefore, one must be careful in selecting one's choices in any translated work of masterpieces.